Around and Around We Go...

Last week I was in the hospital for a few days, getting my PICC line placed and starting my 3 weeks of IV antibiotics. This was a planned visit. My PFT's had decreased by 30% last year. After a full year of oral antibiotics that never really made an improvement, my doctor and I decided it was time for a tune-up. Honestly, I should have done it sooner.

When you go into the hospital prepared for what is ahead, surprises are not always welcome. My doctor...we'll call him "Dr. Bob" just for giggles...loves me as if I were his own daughter. I'm convinced of that. This conversation between Dr. Bob and I has been making me chuckle and confused all week, so I have to share.

Dr. Bob: Well, your culture results came back and it looks like you either have Tuberculosis or
Atypical Mycobacterium growing in your lungs.

Me: Huh, that kinda sucks. Wouldn't I know if I had TB?

Dr. Bob: Not necessarily, but I don't really think you have TB. We're going to test for it anyway.

Me: So what is this atypical mycobacterium business all about.

Dr. Bob: It's actually something that nobody really knows anything about. Well, there is one guy who knows about it, but he's in Texas.

Me: That does me no good. I'm gonna google it.

Dr. Bob: OK, google it.

Me: OK, I'm googling it. click..click...click...click... Huh, it says here that only sick people get this mycobacterium stuff. How the hell did I get it then?

Dr. Bob: Huh, I don't know? (this is written in sarcasm font)

Me: So what are we going to do about it?

Dr. Bob: We're either going to treat it, or we're not going to treat it.

Me: Well, which is it?

Dr. Bob: I don't know yet. It's going to take a couple weeks for the culture to grow before we can decide. We have to see what strain of mycobacterium it is first. Whatever it is that you have, you have a lot of it, though.

Me: That's completely unacceptable. I have to make plans and need to know what my treatment plan will look like now.

Dr. Bob: Well, I can't tell you anything yet.

Me: Why would we not treat? How can having a lot of anything like this be OK?

Dr. Bob: The treatment is very toxic. It usually lasts about a year and if we can avoid it we will. If we decide to treat we have to send your samples off to the guy in Texas so he can test it against a bunch of antibiotics so they can come up with your own unique recipe of antibiotics. That will also take a long time.

Me: I really hope nothing happens to that guy in Texas before he has a chance to analyze my samples. So, how bad can this get?

Dr. Bob: I would certainly rather you didn't have it. It's what used to always kill AIDS patients in the past. It can be really nasty.

Me: So we'll treat it?

Dr. Bob: Not necessarily. The treatments can also kill you or make you antibiotic resistant, so I'm not saying we'll treat either.

Me: Huh...sounds like it just sucks all around.

Dr. Bob: Well, it could also just stay dormant and not do anything. We'll have to see.

Me: This is just unacceptable....

So this same conversation went on about four times throughout the day. Back and forth we went. Around and around we went. What's the plan? Treat? Don't Treat? How Long? Who's this guy in Texas? How much do I have? When will I know? Around and around we went...

The good news is that I don't have TB! Good thing, because TB is so 1923... I'm still not sure what type of mycobacterium I have, but I'm hoping for the lazy kind. I'm also really hoping this guy in Texas doesn't retire or kick it any time soon!