Hollow Inside

Hello out there!  Hello?  Is anybody out there?  It's certainly been a while.  I was asked twice today for an update, so I figured it was a fine time to dust off the keyboard and write a little.

Life has been busy.  Life is always busy, so this isn't really new.  I've been traveling a lot for work, with a fun family vacation to Florida thrown into the mix.  We went to the Gulf Coast of Florida again this year.  It was a great time!

The week I got back I traveled to Wichita, Kansas for work and got to meet up with Justine K., a recent (1.5 year) double-lung transplant recipient.  I adore her!

On the health front my lungs have been pretty stable.  I continue to take enough antibiotics to cure a village, but the side effects are manageable.  To be honest, I have been dealing with more non-CF health issues lately.  I am preparing for surgery in 3 weeks.  I am preparing to have my 3rd organ removed.  I will soon be saying Good Bye to this:

Out of respect of the one or two boy readers I have, I will spare you the gory details.  Half of me is looking forward to being rid of this nuisance of an organ, while part of me is a tiny bit sad...feeling as if I'm losing my womanhood.  Another part of me is wondering how many non-essential organs a girl can do without.  This would be the 3rd organ I will be ridding myself of.  My uterus is preceded in death by my gall bladder and appendix.  I'm tempted to ask if they can take my spleen and tonsils while I'm under, if only to avoid future organ removal surgeries.  I really hate surgery.  The night after laprascopic surgery can be a bitch.

I was starting to feel a bit bummed about these circumstances.  I was feeling old...something I typically feel privileged to have achieved.  The newly discovered gray hairs that I found last month didn't help the situation.   I was feeling like I've gotten to a point in life where normal things are breaking down.  Then I was feeling a huge amount of guilt for feeling this way, knowing that every year has been a gift.  I was having such a complex mixture of emotions.

My funk didn't last long at all, though.  Justine helped tremendously in reversing this attitude.  Justine had the procedure I'm about to have one week prior to our meeting.  She is 10 years younger than me.  About six months ago she had feet of both her small and large intestines removed.  A year and a half ago she had both lungs removed and replaced.  She has also had her gall bladder out.  Justine  has definitely got me beat when it comes to organ loss.  Just meeting her gave me that dose of perspective I needed. Have I told you yet that I love Justine!

I returned home from Kansas, dyed my hair and changed my attitude.  The surgery is not such a big deal in the scheme of things.  My uterus has served me well, but it's time that we part ways...and I have now come to terms with it.  I'll take all the good juju you can spare!  I'll keep you posted...