1981 ~ 1989 (Elementary School Days)
Sick little, Stacey. Somebody should have given me a tissue instead of a cheap plastic comb... Seriously, that picture is all wrong! A little better a year later in 1st grade. Except for the clothing choice, of course.
Lesson #1: Chronic Illness Can Sometimes Become Routine
After a few years of becoming intimate with CF, everything became more routine. A pain in the ass...yes, but still routine. An hour of nebulizer treatments then clapping, followed by a huge handful of pills, in the morning before heading to school. Then repeating it all again in the evening. Oh, and I was not one of those children who sucked it up and accepted this as my reality. I'm not sure that there was a single day that went by that I did not ask...no BEG my parents to skip my treatments. I could think of a million things I would rather be doing. It was, however, part of my routine.
Lesson #2: It's Difficult to Dream About the Future When You're Told You Won't Have One
These were my healthiest years. I had lung infections, but none lead to hospitalizations. Besides all of the medications I was taking and treatments I was doing, in public I was a normal kid who seemed to always have a cold. Yet, even at this young age, I think I always lived with "death on my shoulder". I took a lot of interest any time I heard of a child dying. I wanted to see how people reacted, what the details of the death were, what the process was like... I was curious about what was to come for me. I remember how the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" annoyed me. I always had an answer, but I never thought past that rehearsed response. I ALWAYS have dreamed about my future only as far in advance as the current life expectancy. When I was little, I never thought of myself as a teenager. When I was a teen, I never imagined being a twenty-something. Even today, it's hard for me to see past age 37. More on that in future posts... I think this may be a form of self-preservation. If I don't dream about it, I won't be quite as disappointed if it doesn't happen. Makes sense, right?
Lesson #3: Being the Healthier Sibling o
f a Sick Child Can Pretty Much Suck
One thing that still makes me sad about this period of time is all of the time my stupid disease stole from my brothers life. He had the pleasure of being the healthier sibling. He had some health issues, but did not require daily treatments. This equated to him being unintentionally ignored much of the time. Everybody always said how great Jason was at entertaining himself. Honestly, I don't think he had a choice. There was only so much attention to go around. My parents did nothing wrong...I just took a lot of time and attention to care for... Honestly, it must have really sucked for him :-(
Lesson #4: Real Friends Will Do ANYTHING For You!
One thing that makes me look back an smile is the love of a few close friends, especially Lisa and Jenny A. They both took such a huge interest in learning my treatments so I could go on the 6th grade camping trip and 8th grade Washington DC trip with my class. Such a HUGE responsibility for these little girls to take on. Lisa always had my back, too. If anyone ever made a comment about my disease, she would put them in their place. Now that I have lived 34 years, I know that friendships like that are very hard to come by. I'm happy Lisa is still part of my life today and that I have reconnected with Jenny A. via Facebook ;-)
Stayed tuned for the next Chapter...CF in the High School years...UGH! NOBODY hated high school quite like I hated high school!!!
5 comments:
We've had a very similar life. Maybe that's why we've become fast friends.
OH...and I beg to differ about the high school thing. We can say we had equal hate. :-)
Very honest insight Stacey....that is all one can ask from a blog. I am curious - what was your rehearsed response to "what will you be when you grow up?"
Really well wrote!! It is so weird. When you were very young you were sick and then got better. At that age I was fairly healthy. As healthy as you can be with cf. Then I had my first hosptial stay at 7 years old and every thing went down hill. Just a week after my 11th bday I was given less then a year to live. Transplants were so new then, that no one had really heard about them. But we had because Dr. Stern said that was my only hope of living to see 12 years old. And we were told the lungs would probably only give me an extra 3-5 years. When I got my new lungs I was only the 5th person to EVER get new lungs from the clinic for cf. Now here I am 18 1/2 years later doing pretty good!
I love this little series you're doing!! DO you mind if I "spread the word" about it at some point??
Ronnie
this reminds me a lot of myself! I remember never thinking of going to college or living even past 20. I was a runner from my treatments as well, my mom is so relieved that I finally figured out how important it is! GREAT blog, I love your stuff!
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